Stupid Characters

Gordon McAlpin is the writer and illustrator of a web comic I love called Multiplex (http://multiplexcomic.com/).  As its name suggests, it's set in a Cinema Multiplex - and perhaps part of the reason why I love it so is because I spent four years whilst studying working for Cineplex Australia; first as an usher, and finally as a projectionist.  Often times, the staff would joke about how excellent a television series our exploits would make.


But as it turns out, a web comic does the job just as well.  And when I was first recommended this comic by a friend late last year, I devoured the entire archive in two solid days of reading.


For movie buffs out there, the comic has a cutting and witty mix of trivia, critiques and general film-type conversation; which is completely fun to read.  But what McAlpin does really well is to create a self-contained world with realistic characters, and a story line that is genuinely engaging.  To be honest, I've never been the kind of guy to read a comic simply for the illustrations; but McAlpin's work here too suits the theme of his story very well - in particular when the characters venture into heritage cinemas.  That's where it really shines.


I follow the fellow on twitter, and this afternoon we had a bit of a back-and-forth spawned by the television series Breaking Bad (which I am not overly fond of).  I was venting about how frustrated I get at the stupidity of characters - which is the main reason why I dislike Breaking Bad and stopped watching it.  To which he offered this thought, that resonated strongly with my views on all kinds of entertaining fiction.

@gmcalpin:

"The most unrealistic thing I can happily tolerate in fiction is the conceit that everybody in the world is intelligent and articulate."

Upon thinking about it, I realise that I have no real problem with characters who are uneducated, idiotic, dumb or unlikable; but I have a real problem with characters who are intelligent, yet continue to make stupid decisions, simply to move the plot forward.  In this sense, I define "stupid" as something which is outwardly ridiculous.  At such a point, I lose interest in the film's story because I begin to get the feeling that the filmmakers are bashing me over the head with their opinions.  McAlpin opined about the series that: "It's good but the writing defies logic too often for the sake of "cool" moments," which is a similar sentiment a filmmaking buddy of mine offered some months back when we were also talking about the show.


Any film or writing teacher will tell you that in any piece of work, a character must follow their own desires; their own wants and their own needs.  This is where the conflict of drama enters and how a story evolves.  It is also how the "journey" of a character can articulate itself, and gain resonance with its audience.  Yet when characters who otherwise are intelligent, sane human beings, make choices that an audience cannot understand, and continues to offer anything satisfying in the way of explanation or resolution for those choices - then why should we waste our time in following their journey?


At the end of the day though - the main reason why I stopped watching Breaking Bad is because I just hated the characters.  I don't even care that the writing was good, or that the story was different, or that it was making a point - all of the characters were utterly irredeemable, and it depressed me to witness their constant stupidity.


This is actually a part of a greater line of thinking I have on the important balance between character and plot; but I'll save that for a longer post.

Excerpt from 'Things I Have Learned in a Decade of Freelance Writing'

READ: If you’re not reading absolutely everything you can get your hands on, you’re doing it wrong (again, it’s tax deductible). Read the papers, magazines, zines, blogs, The Bible, fairy-tales, the personals sections, the liner notes on old records. “Writers” who suspend themselves in some hermetically-sealed bubble of their own brilliance are boring. (ED - my emphasis)


Link to original article: http://clembastow.tumblr.com/post/10253898011/things-i-have-learned-in-a-decade-of-freelance-writing

The Silence of Each Other.

We fell asleep at just a little past 7am,

Each with our phones pressed firm against our ears

Huddled under blankets

In separate rooms

In separate homes,

In separate suburbs;

Yet closer than we’d ever been before,

And as morning light

(that was not soft,

And did not creep)

Sternly bashed its fists against the panes of our windows

Like some stepfather half asleep and woken

By the laughing of a child that is not his with
Reprimands as consequence

For bliss;

We did the only thing we could

And drew ourselves as deeply as we should

Not have dared

Into the silence of each other.

Unable

Or unwilling to hang up we

Wrapped ourselves into the warmth of a coiled

‘Yes.’

An understanding as profound as it was

Sudden as it was

Bewildering as it was

True;

Each the other’s silent witness to the blooming of intent,

Each the other’s silent guard

Against that effervescent ‘Yes’

We listened desperately

To the silence of each other

Were borne swift into the presence

Of a thing so deep

We dared not name it;

And so instead

We laid ourselves to sleep upon it

Made ourselves an ally of it,

Cursed our future friendship by it

And hoped it would not vanish

Into the silence of each other.

For four hours of that drunken morning

Words flew from our lips

As natural as bats spilling out the mouth of a cave,

Agitated from their roost

By some inner sense of change

Unfurling onto the night like lamplight

Pooling in the unclean pores of a Friday night fist fight,

Like we,

Drunk and careless,

And lighting up the world with the suddenness

Of the knowledge

That we exist

In the eyes of each other.

And I remember, you said,

Something like “Tell me something special,”

And I replied, sleepily,

“What would you like to know?”

So you said,

“Read me something that you wrote.”

We fell asleep at just a little past 7am

And I knew that was the time

Because my phone suddenly vibrated

And I thought

“Who would call me now but
who I'm already talking to?”

And so I looked and then I laughed and said,

“My alarm just went off

Telling me to wake up.”

And you replied,

“Why would you want to wake up now
When sleeping is as good as this?”

We fell asleep at just a little past 7am

And four hours later I awoke

Still with the phone pressed against my ear

And I thought

“My God I hope it's not true about mobile phones and radiation.”

And then I listened

And I could hear

You breathing

And the sunlight which was never streaming

Now past the point of being stern

So brilliant in its reaming

Of our coalescent yearn

Made my room as freezing hot as the desert

In the middle of the day

But yet I could not tear myself away

From the silence

In between your breaths.

I couldn’t move, I couldn’t jest,

I could only laugh,

Wholeheartedly

Irrepressibly taken by the understanding of Yes.

And then you woke up,

And the first thing

The only thing you said was,

“Did I snore?”

These Are The Tenets of Existence I Hold to be True at 27 yrs of Age.

• What you think will eventually become manifest in reality.
• Food makes everything better.
• Meditation is very important - but it is not the answer to everything.
• No matter what you might believe at the time, there is always another way to think about a problem.
• It is possible for you to "make it" on your own - but it is far less interesting to do so.
• Never mistake "spiritual understanding" for disassociation - it is easy to confuse the two.
• Trust what you feel, and feel what you think.  If you feel nothing, that is a sign.
• Everything is always okay.
• Walking is the best form of exercise you can get.
• Love comes in many forms, but real love is something that you do not have to think about.  Because you can't.

Conversation lol!

I was out at a bar last night and found myself idly chatting with a girl - maybe about 18 - that night's love interest of a guy I knew who was DJ'ing that evening. He had dashed off to cue up the next song, so the girl and I were talking.

Ric's was packed, so we were standing quite close to one another; I was feeling festive and it seemed to me that the conversation was an interesting one, when, while I was in the middle of replying to something she'd asked, she pulled her phone out from her handbag (which was clutched at her chest), and began scrolling through Facebook.

Like a child who holds a torch beneath their chin to create a mask of garish shadows, her face lit ghoulish blue, and I was instantly and suddenly irate as her eyes darted to the damned device while she nodded her head and made agreeing noises in imitation of attention.

Now, it's not very often that I deliberately lie or mock people, but sometimes I just can't help myself, and before I knew what I was doing I said, "You know - they've just found out that the screens on phones cause eye cancer?"

Well that got her attention.

She snapped back to me and shrieked, "What?!"

Immediately, she dropped her phone back into her bag as if it were toxic waste.

"Oh my GAWD! I mean, like - is that the same how they cause radiation and stuff?! Because I knew about THAT - but EYE cancer? I can't even imagine how awful that would be! I always have it on speaker phone, y'know but like, EYE cancer? What do you even DO about that?"

I had to agree that I had no idea.

While I wanted to feel guilty for telling so obvious a lie, I just couldn't.  And it wasn't so much the checking of the phone, it was the insidiousness of it - how she tried to make it unobtrusive; a swift little peep mid-conversation could be forgiven... so long as she maintained the facade that she was still listening.

The guy came back and they both left shortly after, but it amuses me to hope that every time she is tempted to check her phone, the possible dangers of such an action will spring to mind, and maybe she'll think twice.

Perhaps instead, she might realise that it's not that important, and allow herself to be a little more invested in what's going on around her.